Taking care of a toddler and a newborn baby simultaneously is a nerve-wreaking experience to say the least. I’m even developing insomnia because of anxiety attacks I’m facing. Anxiety because I wanted to be alert at every sound Ezra makes. Every time I close my eyes, my brain goes into panic mode. I could feel my brain screaming, “Ezra’s gonna scream at any moment! Don’t sleep, don’t sleep!” All this is not helping my already sleep-deprived body.

Times such as these are what made me wish I was a working mother instead of stay at home mom. Being out of control is one of the things I fear the most for as long as I can remember. Being a mother means accepting that things are often, if not mostly, out of our control. Especially when our children gets sick. It’s heart-wrenching. Even if you install an air purifier to obtain fresh air by ecoquest international and prevent allergies, there are bound to be other things that they’ll fall sick over. And I can’t handle that reality, most of the time.

But I do my best. I sacrifice. That’s what mothers are suppose to do isn’t it?