Eric is getting very demanding nowadays. Just when I thought I’m the luckiest mom on earth to have such a low-maintenance baby like him. Of all the hours of the day he wants to be held, it just has to be in the wee hours of 2am to 3am, when I finally manage to get my nightly snooze after a long day working.

Highlight of the day: What is there to highlight, other than his early morning wails? Though, it’s always a consolation for me when I do get that full-body, dimpled smile of his at the end of each 20-minute wailing.

Now I am in my kampung Tuaran Labuaya. I have a cousin. His name is also Eric Ribuan and Eric noel is my name. He is 11 years old. I have my PS2 in the kampung. He doesn’t have a video game. His daddy doesn’t buy for him.

Taking care of a toddler and a newborn baby simultaneously is a nerve-wreaking experience to say the least. I’m even developing insomnia because of anxiety attacks I’m facing. Anxiety because I wanted to be alert at every sound Ezra makes. Every time I close my eyes, my brain goes into panic mode. I could feel my brain screaming, “Ezra’s gonna scream at any moment! Don’t sleep, don’t sleep!” All this is not helping my already sleep-deprived body.

Times such as these are what made me wish I was a working mother instead of stay at home mom. Being out of control is one of the things I fear the most for as long as I can remember. Being a mother means accepting that things are often, if not mostly, out of our control. Especially when our children gets sick. It’s heart-wrenching. Even if you install an air purifier to obtain fresh air by ecoquest international and prevent allergies, there are bound to be other things that they’ll fall sick over. And I can’t handle that reality, most of the time.

But I do my best. I sacrifice. That’s what mothers are suppose to do isn’t it?

Yippee! Eric has a blog like his mommy!

I still can’t believe how time flies and how grown up Eric is. A few more weeks, and he’ll be one year old! Has it been that long? Eric’s more demanding now, wanting to be carried around more than he would a few weeks ago. And he’s gotten more vocal. Boy, is his voice loud. I wonder whom he inherited that from

Highlight of the day: Oh God, I think he’s learned that ugly, made-up laugh I always make. Now, every time he feels jolly, he’ll just laugh that goat-like laugh.

I’ve yet to take him for his next shot. I promise I’ll do so on my next paycheck. Fingers crossed.

By the way, if you have a product specifically targeting to mothers, it would be best to use services that can target your marketing to moms for the most effective results.

Our family and the locals here have this habit — or rather, tradition — of calling a baby’s one-month old birthday as the baby’s “full moon”, and today is that day for Ezra. I was wondering what was going on when my husband and in-laws came home this afternoon with an armful of fresh food ready to be cooked, before realizing what day it was today.

It’s going to be a small celebration with just the family members. Tomorrow will be our big family trip to Tuaran, my hometown. Apparently, my in-laws have never been there, and it was something I didn’t find out until a few weeks ago. Oh well.

By the way, someone dropped me an e-mail today saying how cool Ezra’s name was (yeah, I know!). I couldn’t have done it without the Web and the myriads of site dedicated to baby boys names as well as girl. Thank God for the Internet!